Maybe you’ve noticed that your child seems worried or anxious over issues that shouldn’t be so stressful. For example, they might feel deeply upset if they make a minor mistake on a school assignment, during a sports game, or while helping you out with a household chore. Additionally, they may express their fears about the future, even if the situations they’re worried about are so far down the line that they couldn’t reasonably predict what will happen.
Your child might be harboring a deep fear of failure. As a result, they may be terrified of making mistakes. Often, children start developing this attitude because of beliefs they pick up from their parents. Here are a few signs that your child has developed a fear of failure, and how this might affect them down the line.
Frequent Anxiety
Ongoing anxiety is one of the most prominent signs that your child is afraid of failure. They may be picking up on your stress if you tend to get anxious about small inconveniences. Alternatively, they might be influenced by growing up in a competitive, high-pressure environment. For example, do their classmates’ parents push them to earn high grades while participating in lots of extracurriculars? Then they may feel as though they have to “perform” at a high level to “deserve” love and affection.
Your child may even worry about “adult” situations because they frequently hear you worrying about the same situations. These could include financial problems, unemployment, job insecurity, or relationships.
Dramatic Reactions to Mistakes
Making mistakes is part of growing up. People of all ages stumble sometimes. This is especially true for children, as they are learning their way around the world! Therefore, someone who understands that mistakes are simply part of the learning process can respond to their own mishaps calmly and glean lessons from them.
On the other hand, a child with an intense fear of failure will often react dramatically to mistakes. Your child might cry, express that they want to quit an activity, or assume that they can never learn the skill they’re attempting.
Inability to Make Decisions
If an individual with a fear of failure is faced with a decision, they might struggle to make a definitive choice. They may feel as though no matter what they decide, they will somehow make the wrong choice. Adults and children alike can grapple with this dilemma. If you’ve noticed that your child has trouble making even small choices, it might be because they fear that they will “fail” once they make a decision.
Avoiding Unfamiliar Situations
Someone who is afraid of failure will often try to stick with what’s familiar. A child who does not want to fail might be hesitant to attend a play date with a classmate they don’t know very well, try an artistic hobby, join a team for a sport they don’t have much experience with, or raise their hand in class to ask a question. They are worried that they will be embarrassed or face serious negative consequences if they do something “wrong.”
Fears of Failure and Your Child’s Future
A fear of failure can hold your child back as they get older. They might not fulfill their true potential because they are so afraid of making mistakes. As a parent, it’s important to teach your child that failure is an unavoidable part of life, and if you learn from failure, it can actually benefit you in the long run.
Are you concerned about your child’s fear of failure? A therapist can help them gain confidence. Reach out to us to learn more about our child therapy services.